Roos with Views

With just five weeks to go till we depart for the UK, mid-winter found us heading south to catch up with friends and have Peter’s eye patches tightened up by the Mogo man who makes them.  Being leather, the straps stretch over time so they require a service every 6-12 months unless Pete lets his hair grow really thick or gets an otherwise swollen head.

First stop was Kiama, famous for its blowhole which has, on occasion, swallowed those who have failed to heed the warning sign and climbed the fence for a final closer look.  Never mind though, that’s just Darwinism at work.  Without it we’d all still be amoeba. 

Peter’s oldest mate lives in a retirement village in Kiama and we like to get down to visit a couple of times a year if we can so this time we coupled lunch with a night at the Sebel Harbourside and a good combination it was!

Kiama Accommodation Tip #1

Check the online booking sites for one that has a room and breakfast deal for the Sebel Harbourside Kiama – you won’t be disappointed.  And don’t be afraid to ask for a room with a view.  We scored an upgrade which simply never happens to me unless it's a car rental in North America and that's rarely ever a good thing but our studio room with its view of the harbour was excellent. 

The hotel is built around an old granite and sandstone infants' school which now serves as its function centre.  The old building is along the lines of the school in 'Doc Martin', as NSW public schools were in the mid-19th century – almost church-like.  The rest of the hotel is a fairly modern structure that circles the old buildings without compromising them too much.

Allow a little longer for the generous buffet breakfast than you might think necessary and drink in the view.  Eat slowly and just enjoy being there.

Kiama Tucker Tip #1

And whilst on the topic of food, dinner at the Hanoi on Manning is now on my Kiama must-do list.  This excellent Vietnamese is just around the corner and across the road from the post office and is open for dinner and lunch every day except Tuesdays.

We started with a Vietnamese pancake filled with prawns, chicken and bean shoots then moved on to a green papaya salad – one of my very favourites.  The main was a most extraordinary marinated and pan fried fish fillet – beautifully done. 

There are plenty of excellent vegetarian options as well.  We didn’t need dessert but it all sounded so good.  I went with the sago pudding.  My grandmother used to make sago but I hated it because I thought it was frog spawn.  Go figure!

When the woman who was serving us returned, she asked if we enjoyed out desserts – as they do.  I waxed about mine and said it was just like my grandmother used to make – apart from the banana and roasted peanuts.   She asked if my grandmother still made it and I said "Goodness no, she's dead!"

Well, the poor woman was mortified; she thought she'd said the most insensitive thing in the world.  I immediately launched into "No darl, it's alright, really!  She's been gone for almost 50 years, it's OK, truly!"  But despite all my reassurances, I doubt she'll ask after anyone's grandmother ever again.

Next morning was glorious.  I left Sleeping Beauty to his slumbers and headed out, new camera at the ready, to enjoy the morning light.  There's a small harbour below the hotel so I walked around that and up to the town.  Everyone over the age of 40 greeted me with a cheery "Morning" at the very least whilst the rest just hurried by with eyes and thighs firmly glued to their iDildos.  I chatted with numerous dogs and birds, taking photographs of the latter, and all was perfectly right with the world.

Well, it was until I had a near-death experience on the way into Batemans Bay.  I stopped for a pee and inadvertently picked up some hitchhikers who tried to kill me - albeit slowly!

We were headed to the village of Mogo to see Peter's patch man and I knew that would put undue pressure on the bladder by the time we finally arrived at Cate and Brian's so I pulled over and hit the bush for a piddle.  And what lush bush it was, lush and rather MOIST as it happened!  All was good but a couple of Ks down the road I had the feeling that things were not right in the sock department...

Leeches, there were bloody vampire leeches sucking on me like Donald Trump and Warren Buffett at an asset-stripping orgy!

I pulled over, jumped out of the car and danced around like a redneck hillbilly at a hoedown!  In hindsight, I was a complete and utter embarrassment to myself but I had leeches sucking on both legs!

Peter was useless, he just sat there bewildered, and I couldn't pull the buggers off because my fingers kept slipping on their slimy leech skin. 

Now up here for thinkin', down there for dancin' – I ripped open the glove box and grabbed one of the paper napkins I hoped was in there, wrapped it around the first ever-expanding mongrel leech and pulled!  It worked but the damned thing slipped straight out of the napkin and headed for my hand, angrier and uglier than ever!  I yelled, I swore and I danced some more and in the process flung the foul bloody thing to who-knows-where but then I realised it was not alone!  The removal process continued a little more methodically from that point onward but with none of the respect I normally show to all lifeforms, even cockroaches – I stomped on each of those satanic annelids bastards and ground them into the dirt!

A little further down the road, during a calmer more reflective moment, I wondered what worthwhile purpose leeches actually serve in the greater scheme of things.  Would the planet be a lesser place if all of them were to simply disappear from its face – and perhaps take Tony Abbott & Co along for company?

We had a great catch-up with the McFoleys, arriving just as Cate’s towering 15 year-old nephew, Dom, was helping Brian assemble an outdoor heater that looked suspiciously like a device that ASIO might use to eavesdrop on those who do not play on Team Australia.

Dom & Brian with the ASIO listening device.

We visited Mogo Zoo and their famous white lions next day, but the highlight was a chance meeting with one of the keepers who was sharing quality time with a lonely Brazilian tapir that had recently lost his sister and life-long companion.  The search is on for another tapir, Brazilian or Malay, and failing that a capybara.  Should all that prove fruitless Mendez will be sharing his old age with a pig which should work.  He’s a lovely creature.

From there it was on to Maloneys Beach which is a bayside suburb just north of town.  It abuts the national park and long the grassy strip betwixt water and street is home to a troop of over a hundred Eastern Greys – roos with views!

I remember the first wild kangaroo I ever saw as a kid and how excited I was.  That excitement and delight has never waned and each kangaroo I see is like the first so I was beside myself wandering amongst a hundred of them who were completely accepting of the ecstatic stranger in their midst.

It’s always difficult to turn the Pathfinder northward after visiting the McFoleys at their patch of heaven but north we went with visions of kangaroo poo dancing in our heads – lots and lots of kangaroo poo!

Click on the roo poo for the slideshow