Return of the Native - Part 6

Southbound on Virgin

It was rather sad saying goodbye to Lin at Durham Station as we climbed aboard our First Class carriage on Virgin East Coast but the food, drinks, excellent service, scenery and speed proved a worthy distraction.  Besides, we are coming back.  On our very first day in Durham, Peter and Lin decided that next time we're all going to Iceland and that seems like an excellent plan.  I would much sooner go and explore the Viking origins of our parliamentary democracy than have a Parisian fart in my general direction or perhaps attempt to wave his private parts at my aunty.

Large swathes of England are reasonably flat, particularly in the east, so the rail corridor is quite straight and the trains go like the clapper!  It was a disappointingly short trip to London at around just three hours.  Negotiating the tube from Kings Cross to Canada Water with a change at Green Park wasn't too difficult but 'up here for thinking, down there for dancing' - I'm so glad I planned our arrival and departure times outside the peak.

I booked an apartment through Airbnb and hit on a real winner.  We are just 100m from a station and supermarket in a corner unit of a new complex that is serviced by footpaths, not roads, so it's amazingly quiet.  It's not Soho but it only takes 15 minutes to get there although, after our overcrowded experience at around 6.00pm the other evening, I'm not sure I want to do that again!

Walk Left - Walk Right - Just Walk

Americans in America are generally quite good at keeping right when they walk; Australians have a moderate understanding about keeping left; but put 100 British people into any busy pedestrian precinct and what you have is something akin to 100 ping pong balls in a clothes drier!  There is no sense, no reason, particularly given that 90 of those ping pong balls will also be publicly pleasuring themselves with some kind of iDildo devise and possibly smoking at the same time.

You are asked to keep right on underground station escalators which is odd for a nation that drives left but then so is some of their food.  Underground passageways may request you keep left or right depending entirely upon the whim of the sign writer.  Others are completely free of instruction or suggestion as are the pavements.

I have been accused of being a tad anal about this matter but walk a few London blocks in my shoes as I try to navigate the streets with a man who suffers from both an acquired brain injury and a degree of visual impairment.  You'd think a nation that once controlled half the planet's land mass and even more of its trade, could organise a bloody pavement!

Greenwich Mean Time

One of our planned points of pilgrimage on this trip has long been the Royal Observatory at Greenwich, home to John Harrison's four amazing clocks which revolutionised modern navigation.  They are of infinitely greater importance to humanity than the Crown Jewels and you don't have to queue to see them!

When you stand before H-1 you gain a glimpse into the astonishing mind of John Harrison.  All four clocks are displayed out of their cases with the workings exposed.  I am in absolute awe of the man who not only conceived and designed these masterpieces but also spent his entire adult life building them.  The first is the size of a small fridge whilst the highly refined H-4 is the diameter of a saucer with a jewelled mechanism which allowed for parts to be miniaturised and rub against one another without wear.

Rebuilding London

Our Airbnb host, a charming Hong Kong Chinese man from Belfast (much as you would expect), dropped by to welcome us and recommended the Route 15 Heritage Bus as being and excellent way to see the city.  I'm not entirely sure that the post-war rebuilding program is yet complete because there are holes and torn up streets galore.  We kept seeing #15 buses but all of them going the other way - none came back yet magically they all just kept going!  Imagine, if you will, a row of ducks in a shooting gallery.  That is the London Heritage Bus Route.

The Mother of Parliaments

I am an unashamed fan of the Westminster System of government as anyone who understands the Congressional System should be.  It is arguably the best form of civic organisation we have come up with to date, evolving from the Icelandic Thingvellier first held in around 930.  It delights me that arrogant and destructive leaders can be forced from office mid-term without need to resort to assassination as with the American model.

Our guide was brilliant and she looked and sounded like Helen Mirren whilst carrying her handbag in the fusion style of Queen Elizabeth and Margaret Thatcher.  I was quite literally thrilled by all of what we saw and she illuminated the history of both the building and the institution whilst filling a few gaps in my knowledge.  

For years I have wondered why the colour of the House of Representatives, and the House of Commons before that, is green.  It seems that the first House of Commons had to get itself organised rather quickly and the most available and cheapest colour of the day was green.  That is delightfully practical and pragmatic, just as it should be!