A Postcard from the Gold Coast

I can see how Paradise slipped into the name of this place.  The beach isn’t at all shabby and for just $145 a night you can stay in a very smart two bedroom apartment on the 12^th floor of a building that’s directly opposite the ocean.  And although you have to lean over the balcony rail to see the street, it’s the perfect perch from which to make god-like pontifications about the limited parking abilities of sub-mortals below.  But the view is the real attraction.  When we opened the door and walked in, the convergence of the sky and the Pacific was all we could see and it is superlatively gobsmacking!

Morning breaking

The car drop-off, the flight up, the rental pick-up and the drive from the airport were all uncharacteristically flawless as was the meet-up with the apartment owner’s agent.  After a chorus of vista-inspired gasps, we headed to Pacific Fair to stock up on breakfast essential plus a few bottles of wine and some vodka so we could enjoy a wee nip mixed with an organic guilt-free and completely diabetic-friendly citrus concoction I rather fancy.  When fused with the aforementioned vodka, it’s rather reminiscent of the tray drinks an extremely kind waiter saved for us when we were late to the captain’s cocktail party on our Royal Caribbean Alaska cruise aboard the ‘Peasant Clubbing, Lurex & Diamanté Encrusted, Vision of the Seas’.  

Cheers

That was back around 2000 and of course Royal Caribbean has moved on.  Their glass elevators have been replaced with teleporters and all America-based cruises now feature daily on-board executions of death-row inmates – twice-daily for cruises out of Galveston TX.  Themed executions like ‘Pirates of the Royal Caribbean Walk-the-Plank’ are a particular hit with the kiddies.  As usual though, I do digress but you know how Americans value gratuitous violence with a hefty side-serve of down-home Judaeo-Christian vengeance.

And speaking of things Judaeo-Christian, our first engagement of the trip was an après-Evensong dinner with a certain Reverend Principal and her Cleric-Consort.  The RP deserted Public Education several years ago for the Dark Side and has more recently landed the top job at a private school that’s so exclusive its name cannot be spoken aloud and may only be scribed without vowels. 

I nearly choked on my fettucine al fungi when the Reverend Principal revealed that not only do she and the good lady bishop go shoe and handbag shopping but that she also sits on the synod – the parliament of the diocese!  It is within her power to have McWilliams port banished from the Eucharistic wine list and replaced with her favorite Vasse Felix or any other tipple that takes her fancy – red, white or sparkling.  Perhaps Grange for Christmas and Easter?

Gold Coast Tucker Tip #1

It’s all peace, love and mung beans at Govinda’s right opposite the Surfers Paradise tram stop.  Govinda’s is completely vegan and absolutely stinks of Krishna consciousness.  If you ever find yourself on the Coast, ‘hare’ on down there for a feed.

Try the pakoras but don't forget the chutney

Gold Coast Tucker Tip #2

If you prefer the bouzouki over the sitar why not try George’s at Sanctuary Cove?  Provided you avoid the Miles Franklin Award winning wine list you can enjoy a stunning meal at an extraordinarily reasonable price.  I had a main of the best garlic prawns I have ever tasted for just $18.  They were served over a bed of perfect rice infused with a butter sauce that would have made a meal on its own.  The serving was generous but I very nearly cried when it was finished.  George’s is already on the list for our next visit to the Gold Coast. 

Aunty Joan & Peter

And that should be roughly the same time next year.  The reason we go north is to visit Peter’s lovely Aunty Joan who is a most special lady.  She moved up here some years ago to be closer to her daughter who then lived at the aforementioned Sanctuary Cove which is, as you probably know, a seriously flash gated community that’s built on what Queensland does best – a massive canal development.  You are never really sure about what you’re standing on in this part of the world.  Twenty years ago it might have been land or it might have been water or, more likely, something in between.  Never let it be said that Queenslanders tolerate mangroves – not even for a moment!

 

We took Aunty Joan and her lovely little dog, Honey, on a drive up to Tamborine Mountain which is an excursion to be recommended.  Once the grades of up to 20’ are negotiated you will find yourself in the place where Kuranda meets Mt Wilson.  You can wander happily through the forests; stare in awe at waterfalls; or simply sift through all the tourist detritus – whatever takes your fancy.  There’s even a scaled-back Georges up there or you can throw the heap in low gear and head back down the mountain to the waterside Georges as we did.

Aunty Joan, Peter & Honey

The new Gold Coast Light Rail is an efficient system that’s worth a ride.  It doesn’t yet connect with the Gold Coast to Brisbane rail line should do so in time for the 2018 Commonwealth Games for which preparations are well underway without the obscene slave labourer death toll we are currently standing by and simply observing in Qatar.

Peter & the Gold Coast G:link

That said, ‘Develop and Consume’ should be the motto of the Gold Coast is it isn’t already.  Since having helped edit that terribly green handbook a few years ago, the last drop of feral consumerism has been drained from my being to the point where I crave a daily dose of genuine sustainability – my chooks, our 10,000 litre water tank, the solar panels on our house and my veggie garden.

Gold Coast Real Estate Tip #1

Don’t!  Properties often come back on the market at less than their original purchase price.  This is great if you want to live there but it’s not the place to invest.

One of the many Towers of Babel

A highlight was a visit to the new Tweed Regional Gallery which is built on a hillside south of Murwillumbah that has spectacular view of Mt Warning-Wollumbin and the Tweed Valley.  I had been promised several rooms of Margaret Olley and assumed there were several rooms of her work on display but it is quite literally several rooms of the late artist’s Paddington home/studio faithfully transported and recreated inside the gallery.  I have seen whole-room installations before but nothing like the organised chaos in which Margaret Olley lived and worked.  The smell of the dust alone has heritage value.  A repeat visit is required.

Have a look... 

Mt Warning-Wollumbin from the Tweed Regional Gallery

From there it was on for an audience with the Reverend Principal at the Holy See itself.  Both the NSW and Australian Governments have been very kind to the Dark Side – it was good to see my tax dollars at work. 

OK, that was said completely tongue-in-cheek.  I remain forever yours, a dedicated free-market socialist along the lines of the Nordic Model, and an avid supporter of Public Education.

Cheers comrades

Glenn

A Christo masterpiece at Robina Town Centre