Friday 18 December 2015

Southern Summer Solstice 2015

Another solar rotation is upon us.  The year has seen mega-profits for the global armaments industry; an increase in the number of immensely wealthy people on the planet; and a burgeoning of poverty, homelessness and dispossession.  Merry Christmas, one and all!

I do, however, see a glimmer of hope in the form of Jorge Bergoglio, Pope Francis to many.  I’ll bet money you never thought you’d hear this particular recovering low church protestant say the following about a pope but I like the man!  Francis has a message for us all and it’s not just about Jesus, it’s about common sense which is largely what Jesus was about anyway.

Glenn & Peter on Sackler Crossing in Kew Gardens

But screw the planet, let’s get back to us!  It was a big year which commenced with the repairs from last year’s horrible anus finally being complete.  It took 16 months to build this house; 8 seconds for a tree to crush part of it; then 8 more months to set things right again but it’s done and the best bit is nobody was hurt as could so easily have been the case.

We were fortunate enough to score yet another year of speech therapy for Peter at St Joseph’s Hospital in Auburn.  The people there are caring and kind and they keep us under their collective wings.  The therapy isn’t about actual speech, it’s about the cognitive elements of speaking – organising thought, laying down and retrieving information – all things Peter has struggled with since the surgery.  When I count my blessings, and I do so every day, St Joseph’s and those there-in are second from the top of the list.

First place, as always, goes to Jan and Tony who continue to make our lives work.  You are probably aware that Peter was abandoned by most of his family in a particularly brutal way and at the worst possible time, an exercise in pure evil.  It was my amazing sister and brother-in-law who stepped in to fill the void and continue to do so.

Peter’s lovely Aunty Joan also helps, albeit from a distance.  She lives on the Gold Coast and we enjoy going up and visit her.  A northern sojourn around May has become our habit, Queensland being just too hot for us in summer or even spring these days.  You’ll find more about that in A Postcard from the Gold Coast (June).

So on to the highlights of the year.  Most link to previous blogs should my various synopses whet your appetite for more look back in – cawthorne54.blogspot.com.au

Somebody Else's Mouth A Cautionary Tale of Gum Disease (April)

I underwent a gingivectomy in April – an oral circumcision of sorts or a gum-lift if that thought bothers you.  I was sure that any excess flesh was all removed in late September 1954 but not so, there was more to come at the other end!  Medications, genetics, shear bad luck, or a combination of all three caused my gums to grow to the point where periodontal treatment became impossible and gum disease was rife so under the knife I went.

This was supposed to be a relatively simple procedure that would take around 2.5 hours.  Imagine my surprise when I awoke 5.5 hours later with my face packed in ice and a catheter up my penis!  My private room had the Middle Harbour view I’d been promised but wasn’t big enough to swing even a very small cat.  It was, however, just big enough to contain the surgeon, the surgeon’s assistant, the anaesthetist, a nurse and a wardsman who were all packed tightly around my tiny hospital bed, poking, prodding and otherwise adjusting me and applying more ice to reduce the swelling and distortion.  That was when one of my now famous claustrophobic panic attacks set in.  If you want to see me lose all shame and dignity just confine me in a small space or crowd over me.  It was ugly!

The recovery time was outrageous and as I write in late November, my mouth is still not my own.  My gums no longer bleed but my bite has changed to the point that chewing my fingernails of ripping open a bag with my teeth is an utter impossibility and much of my actual ‘chewing’ now involves pushing food up against the roof of my mouth with my tongue.

Ergo:  If you have gum disease do something about it – don’t leave it till you need surgery!

Return of the Native (September & October)

England no longer swings like a pendulum do, although you do see Bobbies two-by-two, many of them now carrying machine guns, particularly outside Westminster Abby or the Tower of Big Ben.  There were no rosy red cheeks on the little children, just iPhones and the like.

I won’t revisit old ground here because it’s all covered in the 10 fairly thorough Return of the Native blog postings which precede this one but allow me to just list the highlights:

·         Reconnecting with our very special friend, Lin and meeting her lovely Westie, Piper.
·         Visiting the Yorkshire village of Cawthorne which turned out to be anything but “Paper bag in middle of road”.  It’s actually quite flash and boasts a very smart ‘gastro pub’.
·         Experiencing Durham – a most beautiful old university town, the third oldest after Cambridge and Oxford.
·         Accidentally standing in the very location of a thrilling yet scary childhood storybook image of the railway tracks and viaducts around the Castle Keep in Newcastle.
·         Very intentionally riding a train hauled by my all-time favorite locomotive, Sir Nigel Gresley, a replica of which was my first (and still treasured) Hornby Dublo 3 Rail engine.
·         Spending three nights at Lindisfarne on Holy Island.  Those monks were into S&M!
·         Spending three more nights on a canal which saw me develop an entirely new skill set I’ll never again use.  Although having said that, anyone for a houseboat on the Murray?
·         Exploring gardens, glorious gardens!  And fields of green – Sting’s song played in a loop in my head as we motored across beautifully lush landscapes!
·         Climbing castles – functioning, semi-functional and abandoned.  They’re everywhere!
·         Seeing Lara and Nikos in Cambridge and meeting their son Yiannis for the first time.
·         Touching the door to Stephen Hawking’s actual office – the Holy See of Science!
·         Visiting the Thames Barrier – a most amazing piece of engineering!
·         Finding the place where the rotten prison hulks were moored on the Thames, and the very spot where the convicts were loaded for transportation to Australia.
·         Seeing The Book of Mormon – the BEST musical of our lives!  Love it, love it, LOVE IT!
·         Delighting in the Palace of Westminster – mother of our own parliament and a cornerstone of democracy.
·         Seeing the Rosetta Stone and Elgin Marbles at the British Museum.
·         Paying homage to Harrison’s Clocks at the Royal Observatory in Greenwich.
·         Not knowingly seeing a single member of the Royal Family although I did visit a toilet previously used by the Queen, my second Royal Flush, the first being in Canberra.
·         And speaking of bogs and old queens – photographing the public toilet in Soho where shock-jock and all-round bottom-dweller, Alan Jones, was arrested trolling for gay sex.

It goes on so look back at the blogs if you haven’t already.

The Demise of the Mad Monk

What sets our Westminster System of government apart from the Congressional System is that when the mass of the population finally realise their prime minister is slightly madder than Rasputin, you don’t have to go down the American route and assassinate them.  You just get another one and we finally did.  I was dancing in the streets of Durham when I heard the news.  The locals had no idea what it was all about but happily joined in nevertheless. 

I’m, yet to be convinced that Malcolm Turnbull is much more than a wolf in sheep’s clothing (sorry about the wolf slur, Nancy) but at least we’ve seen an end to Abbott’s bizarre and entirely self-serving “captain’s calls”.  And how ironic that Frau Battenberg refused to allow him to “frighten a little mouse under her chair” when he recently travelled to London expecting to do exactly that!  She was probably as pleased as I am to see his arse-end after he tried to set her grandson up with his daughters.  What a national embarrassment was that?!

And in conclusion…

We have shared yet another year with Kevin, the amazing cat-shaped being who is our constant companion and sometimes comfort.  Kev will be turning 16 in February, old enough to get his learner’s permit so if you’re out and about on the roads best watch out!

The Significant Women – Sylvia, Hazel, Margaret, Oodgeroo and Truganini – have been a great source of enjoyment for us as well as Jan and Tony.  I can highly recommend chooks for therapy as well as eggs.  I feel my bloody pressure drop whenever I’m with them.

And finally, our three cold-blooded co-residents are all well as are the multitude of fish, frogs and tadpoles which inhabit our ponds and gardens although there is a visiting kookaburra who does his best to keep the aquatic population under control – we call him the Angel of Death!

Stay well, everyone.  We look forward to being part of your lives and having you in ours over the coming 12 months.  Try to tread lightly upon the Earth and spread joy as you go.

Much love

Kevin, Glenn & Peter (Lyle to some)


Click on Kev for A Taste of England 2015