Return of the Native 2.1 - Part 13 - Singapore

The SilverKris Lounge at Heathrow is worthy of early arrival but not too early or you may never make it onto your plane.  We settled in just in time for a leisurely dinner which we chose from their rather excellent mamak selection helped down by a wine or three then a shower before our flight.

And the flight itself was superb, the Lobster Thermidor almost as good as Nuku'alofa 2006 but at that point of time there was never going to be another lobster as good as Nuku'alofa 2006 although the one at Fagalomo on the larger Samoan island of Savaii a little later wasn't bad and nor were the margaritas.

We slept half the way to Singapore and could have snoozed longer but I'd ordered nasi lemak for breakfast and Peter had the Singapore Airlines version of a full English coming his way.  Then somewhat sooner than we would have liked we were descending into Changi for our three night stopover.

Super capable travel agent Vanitha booked us into the five star Andaz Hotel and less than 30 minutes after clearing customs and immigration we were standing in the lobby which has its own direct connection to the nearby Bugis MTR station.

Now this is where things turned really spooky...

As we approached the registration area a very well dressed Chinese gentleman wearing a gold badge which read 'Manager' approached and said, "Welcome Mr Cawthorne, do you remember me?"  There was something familiar about him but the connection was clearly taking too long to establish so he said, "I'll give you a hint."  At that point he screwed his face up as if in great pain and cried, "I want my mummy!" 

My response was both immediate and quite automatic.  "I want your mummy, too!"  Then we threw our arms around one other and laughed and laughed.

The Tale of Tek Loy Goon

The primary teachers amongst you will be familiar with the Year 6 excursion to Canberra.  I can't recall the exact year but let's say it was 1990 because the old Royal Canberra Hospital on Acton Peninsula closed in 1991 and that is a critical element in this story.

We'd done all the usual stuff: Parliament House; Cockington-bloody-Green; Questicon (Jesus Christ, not again!); the Institute of Sport; the Australian War Memorial; Telstra Tower; the Australian National Gallery; and last but far from least, the National Capital Exhibition with its nearby playground in Acton Park.  We had everyone toiletted and thought that ten minutes play on the lovely new equipment in the park might just settle them for the three and a half hour drive back to Sydney and it probably would have been had a blood-chilling scream not rent the air followed by another then a continuous wail which sounded very much like a WWII air raid siren.

Tek Loy Goon had fallen from a very tame flying fox which saw his feet no more than 30cm above the softfall but that didn't stop him from dislocating a shoulder and breaking an arm on the same side.  As teachers who'd seen and experienced most things child related we all agreed that if anyone was going to do it Tek Loy would be the one because he was charming, cheeky and had a knack of complicating absolutely everything.  In fact it was more than just a knack, it was a gift!

So off we set, two buses, five teachers and eighty-two children (one of them screaming) to thankfully nearby Royal Canberra Hospital.  I didn't actually have a class, I was the English as a Second Language teacher and as such had worked closely with Tek Loy who was just a couple of years out of Penang so it seemed logical that I accompany the screaming child into A&E along with my good friend Anne who had planned and coordinated the trip although to be fair, not this precise part of it.

What followed was two long hours of waiting and screaming.  I attended to Tek Loy while Annie wore a path between us and the admission desk for updates which were very thin on the ground. 

Tek Loy went through the best part of a box of tissues while bellowing "I want my mummy!"

I held him as close as I dared without causing further injury and whimpered "I want your mummy too, Tek Loy, believe me I do!"

So back and forth went Annie in search of an answer to the same question "When will someone see a Tek Loy?  We have eighty-one other children on buses outside and they should be half way back to Sydney.  We need answers so we can make some decisions."

In between trips to the admissions desk Anne had called the school on the very latest addition to our excursion kit, a mobile phone - remember it was 1990.  The school had then called Mrs Goon whose reply we eagerly awaited but in the meantime a fresh-faced young resident with a bubbly voice finally emerged from behind closed doors and asked if we were Tek Loy's parents.

"Do we look like Tek Loy's parents?!" spat Annie.

The pleasant young chap peeled himself off a nearby wall and said, "He could be adopted."

"Well he's not!  Now we have eighty-one other children sitting in buses that should be almost back to Sydney so can you patch this kid up or do we go and leave my colleague here behind with him?  And by the way, he's not my husband!"

The young doctor and I were both feeling a tad nonplussed by this ultimatum and Tek Loy went into another round of "I want my mummy!" just as an older Anglo couple came up and introduced themselves as Mrs Goon's friends who would take charge of the situation while she drove down from Sydney.  She was on her way to oversee the repairs being, as she was, a nurse as well as mother to three uncharacteristically high spirited Malaysian children.

So after calls of confirmation by both us and the admission staff I assured Tek Loy that mummy was indeed coming and we got the hell out of there.

So fast forward 30 years and Tek Loy Goon, the kid voted most likely to be running his own Triad cell by the age of 25 was now an extremely well presented 42 year-old in charge of one of the slickest hotel in Singapore.  And his English was perfect, thanks entirely to me.

Well what a fortuitous reunion that was!  We received a room upgrade and were just taking in the fabulous view there was a knock at the door and in came a waiter with a bottle of Taittinger, a tray of canapés and an invitation to dinner the following evening.

That combined with what we'd consumed on Singapore Airlines, be it in the lounge or in the air, completely alleviated the need for dinner that night so we set off through the heat and humidity to the Gardens by the Bay for the nightly Garden Rhapsody Light and Sound Spectacular and what a spectacle it was.  We returned next day and didn't leave until after we'd viewed the light and sound show for a second time.

Garden Rhapsody Light and Sound Spectacular

Singapore Tip #1

When visiting the Gardens by the Bay (and you must) be sure to purchase the Attractions Bundle which will get you into the Flower Dome, Cloud Forest and Floral Fantasy as well as give you unlimited shuttle rides.  The latter is a big plus if you have mobility issues but only the food court and restaurants provide any real relief from the debilitating and ever present heat and humidity.

The Gardens by the Bay

And speaking of heat, our dinner with Tek Loy was at 665°F on Level 38 of the hotel.  The views were extraordinary and so were the prices but he made it clear this was all manager's expense account business and to ignore any numerals.  The exception to that was name of the restaurant itself which is apparently derived from the temperature of the grill, it being essentially a steakhouse serving shockingly expensive cuts of Australian meat plus a few seafood options.

Tek Loy remembered the night in the motel in Narrabundah when the Jewish kid who was supposed to get a kosher meal found a used bandaid between his fish and the thick coating of batter in which it was encased.  This, of course, not only rendered it non-kosher but also a health risk.  He asked if I still ate seafood then insisted I order the Boston Lobster Thermidor which I have to tell you wiped the floor with both Nuku'alofa and Fagalomo.

Boston Lobster Thermidor at 665°F

The discovery of the bandaid that night so long ago had caused chaos.  Fish was immediately removed from the menu and half the group hastily served a replacement whilst Annie, one of the bus drivers and I took those awaiting their reformatted meals on a nighttime tour of Canberra.  They were fed when we returned then the whole lot taken out again while Annie and I were directed to the main dining room and instructed to order whatever we liked.

Oh joy, oh bliss, a proper dining room, a menu and no kids.  Why couldn't all school excursions be like this?  We were reflecting on that very thing when two very handsome, well presented men in business suits approached and engaged us in conversation.  They asked if we would like to join them in the bar for a drink later and we agreed.  As they walked off, each glancing back with a smile as they went, Annie assured me that this kind of thing happened to her all the time.

I had heard about this but never seen it and as it happened I still hadn't seen it because when we joined them for a drink in the bar we found ourselves in the midst of a Canberra Gay Business Association social event and I was the main attraction not Annie.  Oh how I dined out on that back in the staffroom!

Only being 12 at the time, Tek Loy was oblivious to that part of the evening's events but it seemed reasonable enough to share the story now that he was 42 and my how he laughed!  He remembered Anne as being quite the glamour and was pleased to hear that hadn't changed.

Having viewed Ireland from Wales and Scotland from Northern Ireland we determined to view Malaysia from Singapore so took the MTR up to Woodlands North at the current end of the line and after a short but very warm walk found ourselves standing by the Straits of Johore looking across to Malaysia.  Well, that was fun!

Woodlands North MTR Station

Back we went to the station and on to the Singapore Botanic Gardens which is much closer to town but feels like it could be a very long way away if you use a tree to block out any tall buildings in your line of sight.  What a marvellous place!  Structurally it's quite reminiscent of the gardens we enjoyed so much in England but with tropical plants and nobody takes their shirts off and lounges about in deck chairs.  If you enjoy gardens then the Gardens by the Bay and the Singapore Botanic Gardens make a perfect compare and contrast and both are beautiful.

Singapore Botanic Gardens

Time was running out and there was still so much more to see but we paced ourselves next day and went in search of the best mamak in the various neighbourhoods around town.  By the end of the day I had completely purged myself of five weeks of British and Irish food and hit Type 6 on the Bristol Stool Chart.  Lovin' that spicy food!

Night markets

We had a late checkout on our final day so just hung by the pool and toilet till it was time to return to Changi Airport and the mother of all SilverKris lounges for just a few pre-flight sates.  So with a tear in my eye (thanks largely to the sambal) we said farewell to Singapore for now because we'll be back.  The quest to find the world's best kway teow has only just begun!

Post Script

The flight to Sydney was great but I cancelled my second 'Book the Chef' Lobster Thermidor and went with roast chicken breast because I already knew it would be a disappointment after 665°F.

Having trained it in Wales, Ireland, England and Singapore we shunned the taxi rank at Kingsford Smith for the airport station and a near empty Waratah B set.  The winter sun rose just as we emerged from the Airport Tunnel to make our change to the North Shore Line at Central and it suddenly felt like we'd never actually been away from home.

How odd was that?!