This trip is seven or eight months late but hey, it's 2020, the year COVID stopped the world and Americans took to the streets protesting against democracy. We were headed south to catch up with Cate and Brian before our trip to Wales, Ireland, England and Singapore which I blogged regardless of reality. Of course there was very nearly nowhere to catch up with Cate and Brian, half of their neighbourhood having been lost to last summer's horrendous fires while our thrice failed advertising guru/prime minister, who can neither hold a hose (his words) nor take advice from fire chiefs (their words) was holidaying in Hawaii, but more about charcoal and ash later.
Our first port of call is always a visit with Peter's oldest mate John who is in a Uniting Care facility at Shellharbour. John is one of the many reasons I no longer believe in any kind of divine being, at least not a caring one. Reincarnation is mathematically implausible and as for karma, don't shit me, that's just wishful thinking! We had about 90 minutes all up which is as good as it gets in our brave new world but hey, unlike head-up-their-arse countries such as the UK and America we have zero local transmissions and zero deaths at the time of writing so let's keep it that way, especially in facilities that care for our most vulnerable people.
Tucker Tip #1 - Hanoi on Manning in Kiama (as always).
We had the usual Vietnamee (Kath Day-Knight pronunciation) pancake and a green papaya salad followed by sago, banana and peanut pudding and banana fritters with sago, peanuts and coconut ice cream. We just keep going back.
Accommodate Tip #1 - the Kiama Beach Boutique Motel
We've
been staying at the Kiama Beach Boutique Motel for years now and it's been
slated for demolition and a new flash apartment building for even longer but on
it goes. It's circa 1960 but spotlessly
clean and very well run. And best of all
they have a clacker step in the shower so you can give your quoit a good
scrub. The outlook isn't bad either
(from the rooms that is, not the clacker steps) so a few extra bucks for an
Ocean View room, upstairs is best.
Tucker Tip #2 - Pilgrim's Cafe in Milton
They serve great vegan burgers and wraps but they're big. We had them cut one in two this time and shared it. Do order your own milkshake though. They are even better than what you'll get at the fully retro and completely iconic Bell's Milk Bar in Broken Hill.
Hint: Avoid the height of lunchtime, this place is seriously popular!
Leather shop Tip #1 - Roman Leather Goods in Mogo
Gaspar has been making, adjusting and repairing Peter's eye patches for ten years now and doing a fantastic job. He and wife Lorena are a truly lovely couple who we've come to regard as friends but on New Years Eve, just a fortnight after moving into their new shop a couple of doors up from the old one... you've guessed it... both the new shop and the old one, as well as their house, burned down. And of course they were underinsured. They are now operating out of a demountable building in a backstreet that doesn't bode well for passing trade which was how we found them in the first instance. But check them out, they have a great range as well as doing special orders and repairs. Turn left towards Mogo Zoo then first left into Charles Street.
Of course shit happens so a few months after the fire, Gaspar and Lorena's oldest daughter, who lives in South-Western Sydney, contracted COVID-19 which resulted in some kind of iron retention problem and several blood transfusions. We left Peter's patch for a grease and oil change but also bought some fantastic boots for our Claytons great-niece Tessa and a manbag that I can wear on my belt. I'll probably never use it but I needed to spend some money in their shop.
The plan was to head over the hill, collect Cate, kidnap cold frog Brian and head straight down to the beach for our first swim of the season (to which Peter was not looking forward) but as we were chatting with Lorena the skies opened and down it came with all the powers of piss - wind and hail as well. We helped bring the stock in from the verandah and chatted on for a while longer before making our way through verdant green bush and field all black and charred below, past sites where houses once stood to the McFoley's which escaped any noteworthy damage whilst the two in front and several others there abouts have simply ceased to be.
It was a great catch up as always. Cate and I were next door neighbours in Drummond College at the University of New England several lifetimes ago and have remained good mates ever since. The conversion was constant and the view more expansive than ever with a number of remaining neighbours experiencing post-bushfire bouts of chainsaw madness.
We visited the nearby Eurobodalla Botanic Gardens with all its fabulous new infrastructure which was more than a bit of a necessity given the last lot went up with all 42 hectares of the gardens in less than 30 minutes. There is still a bridge or two that needs replacing but they've done a remarkable job and, as with everywhere along the coast, the vegetation is bouncing back. Not so the fauna though. Cate and Brian used to have regular kangaroo visitors who simply haven't been seen since the last few injured ones were put down after the fires.
Stone fruit Tip #1
I can't begin to imagine how many times we've driven past the roadside fruit stall with a 'Peaches' sign that's just off the western side of the highway a kilometre or two south of the Sussex Inlet turnoff. Well not this time! Specialising in stone fruit, as they do, it's only open a few months of the year but if it is do yourself a favour. They only sell what's in season and it's all grown just up the hill. The stall is their only outlet so the carbon footprint of what you buy is as close to nil as possible and it's seriously good quality fruit.
Accommodation Tip #2 - the Anchor Bay Motel at Greenwell Point
After our usual couple of nights with the McFoleys we said farewell till next time and headed north again. A few years ago whilst having an explore we passed through the sleepy retirement and holiday haven of Greenwell Point which is in the estuary of the Shoalhaven River. We noted the Anchor Bay Motel and thought a night there might be in order at some point of time. That’s now ticked off the bucket list with a star and seal of approval. The family who run the motel are delightful and it's very well maintained. Go for a room with a view - 10, 11 and 12.
With a lunch from nearby DJ' Fish 'n' Chips (recommenced) under our belts we went exploring.
First stop was the Greenwell Point Bowlo which seems to be the town's principal employer and for that I commend them. Still bloated from lunch, I popped in to pick up a takeaway menu from their in-house Chinee restaurant (Kath Day-Knight again).
Tall and friendly but easily confused young Darren welcomed me to the club but my request for a takeaway menu caught him quite off guard. We jointly decided it would be best if he took my temperature and scanned my driver's license (as they do these days) and I just went and looked at the menu which was posted on the closed restaurant door. All good!
Now that's when I observed the view which was better than good, in fact it was excellent, so I determined that we should make a booking to eat in. And better still, they had a courtesy bus to collect and return us so a drink or three would definitely be in order.
Back I go to tall and friendly but easily confused young Darren who was happy to take a booking for the courtesy bus but couldn't do the same for the restaurant which was first in best dressed in this brand new age of COVID which saw Darren and the entire club staff, restaurant included, wearing masks. He did, however, warn that it was ham raffle night so there'd likely be quite the crowd of punters all looking to win their Christmas leg.
Well now most of you will know I simply can't ingest enough port product - not! I booked the bus for 7:30pm which I anticipated would be post Sunday night pre-Christmas ham raffle time in what was, at this time of year, effectively just a retirement community.
So off we went, me still uncomfortable from our F&Cs because I just don't eat much at lunch these days and it was riding heavy on my otherwise uncomfortable guts for which I'd recently had both an ultrasound and blood tests. That's when we discovered a Forrest Gump style of fishing village on a channel to the south of town. A dozen or more oyster farmers have set up their processing and sales facilities in shacks on either side of the waterway and it was like stepping back in time. In the midst of it all was Jim Wild's Oysters which not only does all of the aforementioned but also has its own oyster bar which serves them au naturale or grilled in three or four different ways.
Now I haven't eaten an oyster for years but suddenly I wanted some! Peter was repulsed by the very idea, eggplant as well but that's a whole other story. They also had some lovely, but of course not local, tiger prawns which would have suited him had we not just eaten. I made a mental note for next time - but not on a Monday.
So back to the motel we went for a cup of tea then a wander around that end of the township.
Travel Tip #1
Best visit Greenwell Point during a weekday and preferably out of season. On weekends and holiday periods it transforms into Boganville.
I think it's the confluence of the boat ramp, several wharfs, free electric barbecues, a very well maintained local swimming pool, an extensive playground and not one but two F&C outlets. Build it and provide ample car parking and they will come, mostly in massive 4WDs or Tonka Toy trucks but also in lowered utes which mostly have to be unloaded of both passengers and Eskys in order to negotiate the area's abundance of speed humps which speaks volumes in itself.
As our appointed pick up time of 7:30 neared I was tiring of the whole bowlo/Chinee idea then came two failed phone calls from what looked like a local number. I phoned back and it was my newfound friend Darren who said he wasn't sure how to use the phone which sounded entirely plausible. He apologised about the failure to collect but the ham raffle had sent the whole of the bowlo into veritable porcine meltdown (my words not his). Would we mind being collected at 8 o'clock by which time things should have calmed down?
"Darren, mate!" I said. "Let's put a hold on the courtesy bus business and we'll just pop down and pick up a takeaway instead of eating in."
"Would you still like us to pick you up though? We can come at 8 o'clock."
I don't know what people hear these days or how much of that they actually process but never mind. Darren is a tall friendly chap who has a job and all of that needs to be celebrated.
We arrived at the overflow parking a short while later and hiked up to the club just in time to hear the final leg of ham of the evening being called and witness the collective sign of those who faced a seafood alternative this Christmas. Some were already making plans to visit Jim Wild down the way a little but I suspect old Jim will be sending a couple of crates of oysters the club's way for their big Christmas Eve raffle. And then, of course, there are more ham raffles every Sunday evening between now and then anyway.
We ordered a takeaway special fried rice (hold the pork and ham) and a Singapore chicken (which I'd never before heard of) then retired to the rapidly emptying bar for a beer. That's when the mirror ball above the empty dance floor started to rotate and 78 year-old DJ Barry cranked up the Bee Gees 'Stayin' Alive' which I thought more of an affirmation than an invitation to dance. That was followed by a pre-George Michael George Michael singing 'Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go' and I sensed a theme, a genre if you like.
I thought we might go out front and take in twilight over the estuary but both doors were alarmed. I imagine this is an OH&S safety precaution. The only people in the club who appeared younger than us were Darren and his band of masked colleagues who were already busy enough picking up discarded raffle tickets, clearing tables and collecting lost or misplaced dentures and hearing aids. Attentive though they were, they'd have been hard pressed to dash outside and haul a bewildered pensioner out of the Shoalhaven should one wander off and topple in as I'm sure they do from time to time.
So back we went with our acceptable but in no way remarkable bowlo Chinee for a fairly early night of TV with a largely I undecipherable remote control. That aside, my only real complaint about the otherwise excellent Anchor Bay Motel is the snugness of their bathrooms. When the "little fart that wasn't" struck at around 3:30am I found myself sitting on the loo with my knees all but pressed up against the opposing wall wondering how I was going to do the paperwork.
Over 50s Tip #1
Always wear underpants to bed. They buy you a little extra time and are much easier to remove and wash than sheets but you still need to move quickly during the initial stages, very quickly!
Traffic having been an utter bitch on the way down we decided to return home via the Picton Road and the continuum of motorways which, with the completion of the new Connex North, now takes us to within a couple of kilometres of home albeit for a great deal of money. That aside, the route facilitated an hour or so down memory lane when the Spirt of Christmases Past (or something similar) moved me to swing DeDe off the Picton Road at the approach to Cordeaux Dam. Neither Peter nor I had been there for over 50 years which is a rather disturbing two generations and then some in genealogical terms.
I remember going there some time during the 60s but have no memory of the actual place so was delighted to discover a rather fine example of the faux Egyptian style of hydrological engineering which abounded throughout the Greater Sydney region during the 1920s. The pump houses and access points all look like pharaonic tombs with great concrete columns that have the appearance of stone at either end of the long dam wall which we walked.
Once finally home Bruce almost turned himself inside out with joy. He completely ignored his Aunty Jan and Uncle Tony who faithfully appeared every evening during our absence to provide him with both sustenance and company. Our Boy is a two man cat, end of story, and this is.
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