Return of the Native - Part 9

Kew Gardens

I was expecting something more intensive from this world famous botanic garden and was initially a little disappointed by its park-like presentation.  It's a fusion between Sydney's Royal Botanic Garden and Centennial Park but once you adjust your thinking to the size of the place it's all there.  

Glenn & Peter on the beautiful Sackler Crossing at Kew Gardens

We were disappointed to discover that there are no longer any orange trees in the Orangerie and probably haven't been for at least a century.  It's now a cafe and function centre.  The Princess of Wales Conservatory does, however, have a good selection of the very same Australian natives we planted in our front yard - all under glass as I suppose they must be in a cooler climate.

It's almost worth going out to Kew just for the quaint village around the station.  That's Kew Gardens, OK - not Far Kew!

The British Museum

This place is absolutely rotten with plunder, all classy stuff that's very tastefully presented.  Until I saw them, I thought the Elgin Marbles should be returned but hey, fuck Greece!  They'd be rubble by now had they remained in Athens, the British saved them, they belong in London.

One of the Elgin Marbles

The Rosetta Stone was my actual must-see but unfortunately it's everyone else's as well.  My tip is save yourself the stress of the crush and go look at the Rosetta Stone memorabilia in the nearby gift shop.  You can get mouse mats, USBs, mugs, magnets, foam stress blocks, scarves, ties, pencils, pens, cuff links, broaches, paperweights, wall plaques, device rechargers, wooden postcards, regular postcards, notepads, key rings, tea towels and so much more.  It's like Jesus stuff at the Vatican or Mickey Mouse at Disneyland - same-same.

Glenn with the actual Rosetta Stone

We went to the classy museum shop though and bought a very smart piece of work by a master British glass blower, something that was worth standing in line at Heathrow to claim back the GST we paid.

The National Portrait Gallery

If you're short on daylight hours, the National Portrait Gallery closes late on a Thursday and Friday - and they have a bar in the foyer with a bare-cheated drag DJ who very much groves to his own beat.  We walked about casually sipping white wine and looking at "Art sweetie, art!" to quote the extraordinarily quotable Edina Monsoon.  And I must say, I gave the drag DJ a run for his money in my Hawaiian shirt and pink shorts amidst all the après-office London suits.

Che Guevara and Debussy to a disco beat

Trafalgar Square and there about

We somehow managed to leave this for the last day.  The tourist and shopping precincts of London are just so disturbingly busy that I don't think this was an accident.  Trafalgar Square is essentially a statue of a man on a very high pole and lots and lots of buses that go round and round, most of them red and double decker.  It was also being set up for a live broadcast of the following day's England v/s Australia rugby league game that I was apparently supposed to care a out.  Too funny!  

Trafalgar Square

 St Martin-in-the-Fields is nearby and they do lovely lunchtime concerts for just a donation if you choose.  You can also enjoy lunch in the crypt with lots of dead people - much like a weekday in any RSL club or bowlo right around New South Wales. 

With Yoda I am

I was on a quest to find the statue of Isambard Kingdom Brunel (a particular hero of mine) which is somewhere in the Temple District.  We found the Brunel Catering Company and a lot of smart but largely lightless residences with lovely private gardens but no Issy.  Never mind, Peter was in 7th Heaven when he discovered the Twinings Tea Company where you can try and buy every blend they produce at double the supermarket price - and he did! 

Peter outside the Twinings Tea Shop

The Wibbly-Wobbly Bridge

We were heading for the Tower Bridge then on to Wapping - simply because the name of the latter amuses us both in an Alf Garnett kind of way - but time was running short so we hit the Wibbly-Wobbly Bridge.  These days, this tends be known more and more by its correct name, the Millennium Bridge, now that its bugs have been ironed out and stabilised.  It's a great location from which to view much of London: St Paul's; the Tower Bridge; the Shard; the Walkie-Talkie; scads of Thames-born detritus; the stunningly ugly Tate Modern; and the reborn Globe Theatre.  There's also a plethora of tiny figures pressed into the walkway and you can get your own back on the ping-pong volley of completely directionless Londoners and tourists by stopping to photograph them all - it's huge fun! 

Art on the Wibbly-Wobbly Bridge

Back to Canada Water for the pack up

We left the classic parts of London till last and ran out of time so will have to come back, that's all there is to it.  We did everything on the list though:  Karl Marx; the Rosetta Stone; the Thames Barrier; the site of the convict hulks; all of the London transport options; The Book of Mormon; and much much more.  Then there was the North: Lindisfarne; masses of castles both ruined and functioning; beautiful gardens; the North Yorkshire Moors Railway with my absolute favourite engine, Sir Nigel Gresley; Hadrian's Wall; that terribly special railway viaduct around the castle in Newcastle; the canal boat adventure; and of course, Lin and wee Piper.  We have had a wonderful time! 

Farewell Canada Water - Farewell London - for now!

So it’s more of the same next time plus Iceland.  Look out for us!